Healing Anxious Attachment
Therapy for Relationship Anxiety
Anxious attachment can make relationships feel like an agonizing rollercoaster. Maybe you overanalyze texts or search for hidden meaning in your partner’s words. Maybe you crave closeness but fear pushing people away. Maybe you want love to feel safe and steady, but instead, everything feels scary and uncertain.
… you’re not alone. These are signs of anxious attachment, a relational pattern that often develops when early experiences of love felt unpredictable or conditional.
I help clients break free from these patterns and create attachment patterns that feel steady, fulfilling, and secure. Therapy isn’t about changing who you are—it’s about helping you understand your patterns, build self-trust, and feel confident in love.
How I Can Help You Heal Anxious Attachment
Healing anxious attachment in therapy isn’t about forcing yourself to be “less emotional” or “more independent.” It’s about developing emotional security, self-acceptance, and trust—trusting yourself, your emotions, and your ability to navigate relationships with confidence. In therapy, we work on:
Understanding Your Attachment Patterns
- Unpacking your reactions and patterns in relationships
- Identifying triggers, emotional responses, and underlying beliefs
- Build healthy coping mechanisms for grounding
Developing Secure Attachment Skills
- Learning how to regulate emotions when you get anxious or activated
- Cultivating internal security instead of relying on external reassurance
- Creating a foundation of trust, stability, and self-worth
Navigating Relationship Dynamics & Boundaries
- Expressing your needs without fear of being “too much”
- Setting boundaries that strengthen connection instead of pushing people away
- Moving away from anxious-avoidant cycles that feel frustrating and painful
Rewiring Anxious Thought Patterns
- Reducing overthinking, catastrophizing, and fear-driven responses
- Increasing your capacity to sit with uncertainty
- Internalizing self love
My Approach to Anxious Attachment Therapy
I utilize a depth-oriented, client-centered approach to healing anxious attachment. Our work is about understanding and shifting patterns, not just managing symptoms. Exploring themes and topics through talk therapy can be a helpful first step for insights. The next step is embodying it into practice through exercises and interventions. This will look different with each client. I tailor my therapeutic approach to you. Depending on how you process the world, I may use somatics, CBT, parts work/ IFS, active imagination, mindfulness practices, drama therapy, role play communication, etc.
Here are some examples of what working with me might look like:
Talk Therapy
- Clarify What You Want & Need – Many people with anxious attachment focus on keeping love rather than defining what actually feels good to them. What do you truly need in a relationship? What kind of connection feels nourishing, not just available?
- Attuning to Your Emotions in the Present Moment – Often, anxious attachment pulls you into the past (what went wrong?) or the future (what if they leave?). I help you slow down: What are you feeling right now? What does this moment need?
- Explore Relationship Themes – We map out the recurring relationship cycles in your life. Where do you feel stuck? What types of people are you drawn to? What emotional responses feel familiar? Recognizing patterns allows you to make new choices.
Attachment-Based Work
- Parts Work (Internal Family Systems) to explore the parts of you that crave connection vs. the parts that fear it
- Inner Child Dialogue—learning to reassure the younger parts of yourself that still fear rejection
- Attachment Repair Work: I model secure attachment in our therapeutic relationship, helping you experience what it’s like to feel safe, heard, and valued—so you can take that into your personal relationships.
Somatic & Nervous System Regulation
- Titration Techniques — slowly expanding your ability to tolerate closeness without feeling overwhelmed
- Breathwork & Body-Based Grounding to calm anxious spirals before they take over
- Tracking Physiological Responses to emotional triggers, so you can recognize and shift from a fear-based reaction to a more grounded response
Creative & Adaptive Therapy Tools
- Role-Play Conversations like setting boundaries, expressing emotions, and making requests to build confidence
- Expressive Arts Therapy to explore emotions that feel hard to put into words
- Visualization to help you embody a secure attachment mindset
Anxious Attachment Therapy – Online in California
If you’re looking for a therapist who understands anxious attachment and relationship anxiety, I offer online therapy for individuals and couples across California. I often work with clients navigating:
- Internalizing self love for a secure foundation
- Past trauma affecting current patterns
- Fear of abandonment
- Overthinking, reassurance-seeking, and emotional sensitivity
- Push-pull dynamic with avoidant partners
- Balancing independence and connection
- Rewiring attachment patterns
You don’t need to be fixed. You need to be understood. Therapy is a space for that.
Therapy with Kat 